Divorce and Remarriage

by

Jah Mark

There have been questions raised in the past couple of years about the question of divorce and remarriage. Prominent Christians leaders have been involved in this confusion. I will address what Jah through Scriptures tells us about this question.

According to polls and statistics[i] Born Again Christians have a divorce rate of 27%, while the population of the US has a divorce rate of around 40-50%.  While in the UK and Wales it is estimated that 41% of marriages will end in divorce[ii].

What has happened? Why in the world would so-called Christians have such a high rate of divorce, when we all have heard in the marriage ceremony, “What God has joined together, let man not separate.[iii]”

What does Scripture say about Marriage? Adam set the standard for us when Jah created woman in Genesis 2.24:

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

What did he mean by “one flesh”? The Hebrew word dabaq literally means cling to, translated above by the word ‘united’ and the words basar and echad literally mean ‘one flesh’, so in Jah’s eyes, it would seem that once married, the two people no longer are two, but one, typified by the ‘one flesh’ of their union, a child. So, once two people have become one, how can they become two again without much trauma and pain? Whenever one sins, it is painful.

But wait, did not Moses give the Israelites a license to divorce?

Deuteronomy 24

1. If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,
2. and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man,
3. and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies,
4. then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.

This is the passage the Pharisees used in Matthew 19 to try Yeshua. If you look at what they said and what Moses says here, you will see a sharp difference. The Pharisees said “They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”” But as you can clearly see, Moses did not say any and every reason. Displeasing and indecent is not any and every reason. There are limits. Chen and n’atsah. Chen means graciousness and n’atsah means scorn or blasphemy. So if a woman looses her graciousness or brings scorn upon herself. How would she bring scorn? Adultery. How would she loose her graciousness? Adultery. The only reason. And then, if she remarries, what does that make her again? An adulteress. So then, as we see here, her first husband cannot take her back. Simple, right?

This was not a license to divorce. Jah says “I hate divorce.”[iv] More completely He says, through the prophet Malachi, “Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring.  So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.”

Jah made marriage for one reason, godly offspring. When you divorce your wife (or husband) you break your faith.

Yeshua expands on this in the passage referred to earlier, Matthew 19:

“3 Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4”Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8 Yeshua replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

(see also Mark 10.2-12, Luke 16.18)

Yeshua gives one reason to divorce. One. Marital unfaithfulness. A nice way to say adultery. But should you divorce because of this? What did Yeshua say to the woman caught in adultery, when they brought her to him to get stoned? “Go and sin no more.” Forgiveness should be our first response, not condemnation. Divorce should be a last resort.

But wait! Someone says. Paul gives another reason! Did he?

1 Corinthians 7

10.  To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.

 11.  But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

 12.  To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.

 13.  And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

 14.  For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

 15.  But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; Jah has called us to live in peace.

 16.  How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

16.    Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which Jah has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

IF an unbeliever leaves, let them do so. This is given to the new believers whose spouses were not (yet) believers. I am sure they read in the Scriptures ‘Do not be unequally yoked’ and were wondering about this. Jah hates divorce. But does Paul say here divorce? No! He says if one leaves. Jah has called us to live in peace.

So there we have it. Jah says two become one. Jah says He hates divorce. Moses and Yeshua says only can we divorce for adultery. Paul says if an unbelieving spouse leaves, let them. So why do we have a divorce rate of 27% among so-called born again Christians?

Why? S I N.

In that same poll, agnostics and atheists had a divorce rate of 21%. So are they more ‘moral’ than Christians?

Are the Christians ignorant of what Jah says? Have they been mislead by their leaders? I would say yes to both questions. Most church-going Christians never read scripture. They attend and listen to what the leaders say and go home. The only time they touch their bibles is on Sunday.

Most leaders sugar coat scripture to make it more pleasant to hear and preach what is known as social gospel. Be nice and every thing will be alright. Tickle the ears to bring more people in. Purpose driven drivel.

So when these leaders divorce, they have to justify it to make it acceptable to the people to retain their position. When the people follow the leaders example, we have the divorce rate at 27%.

Pilate said, “What is truth?” It is hard to find anymore.

What about remarriage? As we have seen in the above passages, if you get divorced and remarry, you commit adultery, except for divorce for adultery or in the case of an unbeliever leaving. Simple, isn’t it? ‘What about this circumstance or that?’ some may ask. What about a husband who beats his wife? Leave and be in peace. Is it easy to live like that? No. But I would ask why did you marry someone like that in the first place? I know, I sound cruel and unsympathetic. I am not. I am practical and go by what Scripture says. I have seen that in most cases, people who are abusive are abusive all along and don’t become abusive later on. Most people get involved with these type of people from sin, and these are the consequences.

Now some will say, he has never been through something like this, so he is on a high soapbox preaching to us. No, indeed I have been through all of this. I have been divorced. I have been married to an abusive person. I have been through all the emotions and lived with the consequences. I have and am paying for my sins. I do not try to justify anything I have done. I was wrong. I was an unbeliever as well. Everything didn’t resolve itself when I became a believer. You still pay for your sins here in this life. I try not to mislead anyone. Do not get divorced. Work it out. Take your time. Pray and ask for guidance. Only Jah can change people’s hearts. If it takes years, work it out. I know of one brother who got divorced, his wife remarried, and he resolved to live in peace. He reconciled with his ex-wife (as far as emotionally). But he lives in peace, peace with himself, peace with his children, peace with his ex-wife and most importantly, peace with Jah.

So what about these leaders who get divorced and remarried and, by their example, lead others astray? Do they read Scripture? Are they blind? How can they do this and really be believers?

We can only judge by their fruits. “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves. You shall know then by their fruits.”[v]

“But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.”[vi]

One solution to the divorce problem would be to start at the beginning. At the marriage. How many believers violate Scripture and marry out of sin or lust, if you will. How many marry unbelievers? How many are selfish, thinking only of themselves? How many refuse to live in peace? How many are immature and need to ‘grow up’ before they get married? A good rule and one I have passed along to my children is to only date the people who you would marry. One is 16 and the other is 17. How many dates have they been on? None. Sure, they like others, but haven’t found the one that Jah wants for them. Again, a simple solution.

We must wake up, as believers, and take an active role in leadership. We are all ministers, a royal priesthood. We must not rely on others to do this for us. Who is your neighbour and who is your brother? Start with them.

I give thanks and praises to Jah Most High for the opportunity to deliver this message to you and for the brothers and sisters who helped me when I needed it.

Selah.